so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
