With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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