If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
