Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
