So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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