so that wasnt chicken after all
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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