what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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