I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
