too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize