I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
