C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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