Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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