We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
