I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
