I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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