Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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