it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
