she looked like the bat from fern gully.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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