I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
