Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
