I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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