he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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