Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
