is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
