Welp...herpes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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