just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize