Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
what the fuck happened to the tacos
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
