Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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