so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
