2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
