Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
