i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
