Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize