I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
