Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he just fucked me for my cheese.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
