Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
