The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Found your dick twin last night
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
