Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
