I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
