now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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