I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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