Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
farters have to be the big spoon...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize