i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
