I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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