so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
