I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
