Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
