you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
