and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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