): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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