I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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