You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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