I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
