I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
