My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
