Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
