I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
