i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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