these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
