you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
