You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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