I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
