i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
