You're my little dorito
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize